'It’s the healthiest, happiest relationship I’ve ever been in': Women in Successful Long Distant Relationships Discuss How They Keep Their Love Alive

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Mar 19, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Does distance really make the heart grow fonder?

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  • Are you dating someone long-distance? It's not easy, is it? And it is most definitely not for every couple. However, don't lose hope. Sometimes long-distance can be great! Some couples need that space and time to get to know each other before getting to know each other physically. Or maybe you need that space to get to know and love yourself before you can fully know and love someone else. There can be many perks to an LDR if you are with the right person. What are some of the main rules you need to follow while in an LDR strictly? Luckily, women currently in successful LDR or who were in one, but then closed the gap and are still with their once-faraway honey share their advice. The main takeaway from what we've read is trust and communication. If you do not trust your person 100% and you two struggle with communication, then LDR is definitely not for you. Unsure if you and your bae have what it takes? We pulled out some of the best success stories and helpful LDR advice from the Reddit thread below! 

  • 01
    What are your thoughts on long distance relationships? Can they work? Do you ask for exclusivity or should you see other people? How long is too long between seeing each other? How do you support the person who is in the relationship?
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  • 02
    celestialism 1 day ago I've been in one for more than 6 years and it's the healthiest, happiest relationship I've ever been in. I used to say I'd never do long-distance, because I cared about stuff like sand cuddling too much. Turns out we can achieve similar feelings through phone s<, and as an introvert I also really enjoy having so much time to myself. I think the most important things in LDRs are:
    via celestialism
  • 03
    1. Is your communication style compatible with your partner's, and compatible with LDRs in general? 2. Can you find workarounds for the physical stuff that's lacking (e.g. phone <, s <ting)? 3. Are you both on the same page about how y you envision the "endgame" of your relationship (e.g. is one of you going to move eventually)?
    via celestialism
  • 04
    4. Are you happy being monogamous or would non-monogamy work better (either because you're long-distance or just because you prefer non- monogamy)? If so, what are the rules/boundaries of that? 5. Are you able to integrate into each other's lives in ways that feel meaningful (e.g. meeting each other's friends and family when you can, seeing each other in person when possible, attending events together as a couple when possible)?
    via celestialism
  • 05
    Alarming-Childhood66 1 day ago This...our relationship is fire when we are physically together and makes us both appreciate the time we do have together. We make sure to FaceTime everyday and/or talk and text. It is not for everyone and it isn't always sunshine and rainbows but no relationship is.
    via Alarming-Childhood66
  • 06
    AncilliaryAnteater 23 hr. ago . edited 23 hr. ago This is a very solid, integrated and richly thoughout out guide to LDRs - a voice of experience 9 Reply Share shiny_chikorita · 23 hr. ago I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband for about 2.5 years and this list is spot on!
    via AncilliaryAnteater

    shiny_chikorita

  • 07
    Desperate-Row-2060 1 day ago Yes, it can absolutely work, but it takes a lot of effort. My boyfriend lives in Norway and I live in the USA. We have been dating for almost 8 years now. We only exclusively see each other. We call each other several times a day and we always talk to each other everyday. The longest time we didn't see each other was 14 months. We often buy gifts and send care packages to each other. We had a lot of arguments in the beginning of the relationship, but we both truly wa
    via Desperate-Row-2060
  • 08
    cschalk34 13 hr. ago I think just having the communication is most important. Everybody has their off or busy days but letting each other know that today isn't the best day can be super helpful. We generally give each other our weekly plans or update if things change. It's very natural for us to be telling each other that we're off to work, heading out with friends, taking a nap, going to a party,
    via cschalk34
  • 09
    etc. For my relationship it's in no way controlling that we have to know or tell where each other is all the time but it has instead allowed us the know why one may not be able to talk during specific times of the day and drastically decreases any arguments regarding that. Communication will always be big for me. The adjustment period for meeting up again can be strange. I feel like it can depend on individual personalities, but for myself I think it really got better with time. You become more
    via cschalk34
  • 10
    SSTralala 14 hr. ago 100% on the effort, and finding little ways to stay connected. I've been married to my husband for 13 years, he's with the US military and been deployed multiple times as well as weeks-long trainings. We fortunately both are on the same page about our expectations and our commitment to each other, as well as we both adore travel. In a weird way when he comes home it's like we get a refresher and get to "date" each other all over which keeps things interesting.
    via SSTralala
  • 11
    cschalk34 13 hr. ago My fiancé is from Norway as well, currently 9.5 years of talking and 7.5 years of dating! My relationship is similar. I had a lot I was going through and I was growing as a person so there were many disagreements and misunderstandings. I'd say things for us are close to perfect and we're working on closing the gap. Ldr is not for everybody but can work extremely well for some. We talk most of the day and video chat as often as we can. Communication is so big for us and trust
    via cschalk34
  • 12
    Tahneal 1 day ago . I never ever thought I could be in one until I was. When I turned 18 I moved to a different province for a few months. I met my now fiancé there lol, and I went into that adventure telling myself I wanted to stay single. Well long story short I met him, we became best friends but he was instantly in love with me. We started dating after I had come back home with the rationale of "why stop myself from having a little bit of fun". Well that "little bit of fun" started three yea
    via Tahneal
  • 13
    rsvp_as_pending629 23 hr. ago My husband and I did our first year long distance when we started dating. We met while being home from college. We went to different schools 8 hours away from each other. It was VERY hard. If you decide to do long distance, you need to have a strong foundation of trust. We decided to do it because we knew there was end in sight. We both were going into our senior year and had plans to move back to our home state after graduation. I would never decide to do long dist
    via rsvp_as_pending629
  • 14
    TriggeredQuilt. 23 hr. ago Literally the best relationship I have ever been in. 3 years in while I hope to graduate and move to their country I couldn't ask for a more attentive, affectionate and caring partner.
    via TriggeredQuilt
  • 15
    Spoons_over_Forks - 22 hr. ago I think they can work, but both partners need to be able to agree on how their relationship is going to work during the LD portion. I think it is really important for there to be a plan discussed and agreed on by both partners for when the LD is going to end. I think, depending on the individual, LDRs are not sustainable. You have to be really intentional about the time you spend together and you do have to prioritize that more than you would when distance is not a
    via Spoons_over_Forks
  • 16
    My husband and I met in person, but when we met we knew he was being transferred across the country in a few months. We both anticipated that being the end of the relationship. After we left, we wrote each other letters, but were not dating anymore. I wasn't dating anyone, but he was going out some weekends with other people. Eventually we started calling each other in addition to sending letters. He came back to visit me, I went with him to meet his family. We decided to be exclusive and kept t
    via Spoons_over_Forks
  • 17
    2xtheval 21 hr. ago Depends who you and your partner are, I believe you can only do it for a period of time. My now husband and I (monogamous) were long distance for 7 months. When we were 2 months I had moved across the country. He didn't want to do it because he had a history of doing long distance and had experiences of being let down. I was at a point in my life however where I needed to get away from everyone for a while (a detox from familiar people and influences) just to get to know myse
    via 2xtheval
  • 18
    leafyfire 21 hr. ago Been in one for 2 years, best relationship I've been in. I live in PR so the dating pool is small, almost everyone knows eachother and the majority of the population is old. I got lucky cuz I met my bf through video games whixh is our passtime. We met irl soon after and been seeing eachother ever since. LDR can work out and can teach you a lot of things, such as better communication, patience and to appreciate people better.
    via leafyfire
  • 19
    ontherabbittrail 1 day ago Not all long-distance relationships are created equal, and variations exist based on platform initially met, personality traits, communication styles and tolerance for time apart. It could be a good option for people who take longer to settle or are at a point in their lives where they want to balance relationships with other significant commitments.
    via ontherabbittrail

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